Hyperventilating until you see stars is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven.
sadclownbadnaid asked: what do you see when your eyes are closed?
In the dark I see pale insects flickering, breathing, dancing on a dark stage and when I try to catch them with my eyes they disappear. And I know why, because I have dissolved before eyes, I disappear in the focal point, too. When I close my eyes to sunlight I can see the silhouettes of the veins inside my eyelids painted on a red sky. My flesh turns the entire sky red.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of my own eyes as I close them, has this happened to you? Sometimes I breathe in crystal dust from an old mirror and see God. I once saw myself lying completely still on the bed, I saw the outside of my closed eyelids and thought “finally”.
Carnivorous plants ♥
I apologize for changing my icon all the time. I almost changed my url today, and some other day that I can’t remember much of, because when pictures and words are attached to me for long periods of time I infect them with my filthy essence and they’re tainted forever. I get anxious and my whole body twinges. I blame my OCD for this. I’m in the process of deleting personal posts and every time I hit ‘delete’ it feels like killing pieces of myself. It feels good.